No. 31

It was my birthday last week and while I usually don’t care much about my birthday, in recent years it’s always been a positive milestone in my life. While I typically cringe at growing older, my birthday acts as a great launching pad for good things to come. I started working my current job last year on my birthday. Four years ago I met my current boss for the first time on my birthday. Two years ago I planned my very first birthday party as an adult–and people came!

Overall, my thirties have been pretty great so far. I’m still working on being an actual adult, which means I still gotta figure out my health, my home and my relationships. Maybe that will be my focus for year 31. I feel as though I am really transitioning into that next phase of life. Gone are those years of insecurity and doubt from my quarterlife crisis. I may not know all the answers like I wish I did, but I’m okay with not knowing everything. And somehow someway I have managed to be confident about a lot of things I was never really confident about before. Growing up. It works.

I’m really looking forward to this year, I’m looking forward to what God will do in my life. He’s been pretty amazing, I swear He always tops Himself year after year.

And now I leave you with this bit of awesomeness:

What I’ve Been Up To: “I Feel Good” Edition

I remember I used to love to blog. I used to love to write. I still love writing, I just don’t have time for it as much as I used to. Or, let’s say I don’t make time for it as much as I used to. What’s been taking up my time?

Work.

I’m not sure I could love my job any more than I already do. It’s the right mix of fun and adventure with just enough challenge to keep me interested and inspired to do better.

Anyway, enough gushing about my job. We’re here to give an info dump on what I’ve been up to, what I am loving and more. So here we go:

  • I gave a pretty detailed Q&A interview on Madame Noire about my career, schooling, etc. Go read it here.
  • I went to the GRAMMYs for the third time. It was amazing! Read my posts about this past season here. I have pictures somewhere. I may upload them at some point.
  • One of the web series I produce, How I Made It, is in its second season (yay!). Check out the new batch of fashionistas here.
  • I’ve been flying all over the place. Mostly NYC and LA, but I was in Houston and SFO recently. Going to Utah and Florida soon. I love to travel! Need to get out of this country, though.
  • I’m still hiring. I am always hiring, it seems. New jobs. New positions. I’m slow to hire, as I’m always looking for the perfect fit for my team. My team? They’re all awesome, and I love to do work with them. I strive to preserve this about my team.
  • I’m producing a documentary. I am working with some great people. I am excited about this. I wish I could tell you more.

Other than that, I’ve been sitting around counting my blessings. Let’s talk about that, shall we? I may not have everyone’s approval in terms of what I do for a living, where I work, how much I work, where I live, how I live my life, who I hang out with, what I do with my time. However. I know this one thing, the most important thing of all: I was created and made to be exactly where I am at this moment in time. And nobody can say or do anything to make me feel any kind of way about it. Nobody. This is not shade I’m serving to anyone in particular. Really. I just need to get this off my chest, and perhaps I needed to type it out so I can keep this at the forefront of my mind in times of doubt. Also, so I can remember who is really in control here.

I don’t know how long this will last, I do not know where it is going. But when you’ve been through a series of events wondering where all of this is going and then you get to a point in your life where it all “fits” like a convoluted masterpiece, you sit back and look at it all and realize, there is no way I could have gotten to Point X, if I hadn’t stopped at Point J first–no matter how miserable Point J seemed at the time–Point J is what I needed in order to get through Point L and whoa, Point X is kind of amazing. This is how I know God is with me, and has been with me the entire time. I’ve been in this special place before, where everything fit like a glove, and it is the most amazing feeling ever. I know it doesn’t last forever because you’ve got to keep moving, keep growing, and growth doesn’t happen in places of comfort. But for now, I’m happy. This season of life is great.

By no means is life perfect right now. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything and honestly, my improved relationship with God the past few years has been the best thing to happen to me. I very much appreciate the legacy of faith my mom and parents have instilled in me. I have no idea where I would be if I hadn’t found Jesus, even though I found Him when I was 6 years old and can barely remember life without Him. I don’t mean to get all preachy (I hate preachy), but I just needed to share this sentiment that is on my heart.

I feel good.

(Self)Motivated Early

Yesterday I called my mom’s house to have a not-so-brief chat and catch up. The person who answered the phone was one of my little sisters, age 14, who entered her freshman year of high school 6 weeks ago.

We had some small talk and then she said, “[my nickname redacted], can I ask you something? I have a few questions for you.”

“Sure.”

“Can you send me the books you used to study for the SATs?”

Me, shocked at how ahead of the curve she is, didn’t know what to say. “Um, sure. Except…the books I used are outdated because the SAT has changed since I was in high school.”

“Oh.”

“But I’ll tell you what I can do. I will go on Amazon and poke around for some good study guides and order some and have them sent to you. That okay?”

“Yep!”

“Good. Now tell me where you’re thinking of going to college…”

From there, she gave me her list of schools she wants to get into (“I am thinking Yale, Stanford or Princeton, but I will apply to Harvard and probably MIT as well.”) and then I tried to strategize with her about how to make herself a more well-rounded college applicant. The oldest of my younger sisters is super motivated. Quiet. Loves to read. Straight A student. Natural leader. I think the beauty of it all is that no one in my family has pressured her to be this way. She just…is.

My sisters are growing up so fast. When I was in high school they were just babies and toddlers. Now we have full on conversations about life planning. It trips me out.