Now that I am back in Los Angeles, I am slowly getting myself back to normal, but also making some changes in my life. One thing my trip to Brazil did for me was make me realize how lazy of an American I am–on so many levels–as well as how much of a glutton i am.
And now I feel guilty.
I really want to run down to Panera and get my sausage breakfast sandwich, because that is what I do every weekday morning. Or, go to Robek’s and pick up a nice smoothie if I’m feeling healthy. But knowing how I went two weeks without my “neccessities” combined with realizing how ridiculously expensive that is in the grand scheme of things makes me feel guilty about wanting them.
So, instead, I sit here in my bed.
I’m somewhat fearful about what I am going to do with myself. I can’t not eat. I can’t not spend. But it all seems so frivolous now. Cable TV? Frivolous. All these clothes? Frivolous! My Wii? Frivolous! These are also expensive. Why do I spend so much?
I feel like downsizing my entire life now. Going into closets, getting rid of all these “extras” or at least organizing them and putting them in a storage unit for safe keeping. I don’t need all this stuff at my fingertips.
I am a packrat on top of being one of these greedy Americans. I love this country, in fact I have never loved it as much as when I was outside of it. I just think I am beginning to go overboard with my consumption habits.