Recharging in LA

May 27, 2011

in Faith,Family,Personal

Recharging in LAI’m turning 30 in a few weeks (more like 10 days), and I decided to pick up my bags and come to LA for a few weeks. I needed a life recharge, desperately.

I’m both excited and nervous about 30. I hear you get more confident in your 30s, and I’m looking to gain that. But, I still feel like an underdeveloped adult. Perhaps this won’t change until I have a child. And perhaps I won’t have a child until I change. Life seems like a big Catch-22 sometimes.

I’ve been picking fights with friends lately. I’m growing. Most of the fights have to do with how I’m growing. I’m hoping they stay patient with me.

I’ve quit dating for a year. 12 whole months. Yup. No dating until May 17, 2012. And I’m about to turn 30.  Am I crazy? I might be. But I’ve got some things I’ve got to get right with myself and with God. So for now, dating is off the table. More on that later. Or maybe, in another location and later.

Although I hated chopping my hair off 2 years ago, it was one of the best things I did for my hair. It’s much healthier now, and much like how I remembered it in high school. Don’t be afraid to look ugly, temporarily. Beauty comes eventually. Hopefully.

I miss my parents. I don’t really talk or think about them on a daily basis, as I’ve managed to make a life as far away from them as possible. But. I miss them. I have 4-hour telephone conversations with my mom and sometimes wish I could record them so I can play them back years from now and remember her words of wisdom. I’m staying with my dad in LA and within the first hour of seeing him, he’d given me sage advice about a lot of things I’ve been battling internally for quite some time. I know my parents aren’t perfect. Far from it. But the areas in which they’re top shelf, they run it. And I love them for it. As I grow older, I realize more and more just how amazing they are. Sometimes I think they feel the same way about me.

I am still jobless. But client work is a bit overwhelming. In a good way.

This changed my love/sex/dating/Jesus life. The whole series. If you ever had hangups or questions with purity, the church and celibacy, or ever wanted to know how to manage your modern love life while maintaining your faith, then this series is great: The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating. I have many thoughts and things to say on it, but right now is not the place or time. Stay tuned.

Back to recharging.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Tonya May 27, 2011 at 7:48 PM

Happy 30th!

People say that when you turn 30 your adult life begins…and from my personal experience, I agree. I feel like I experienced so much after 30. I learned so much about myself, that I feel like a more confident adult. That didn’t necessarily come with age (more like break-up, going back to school, chopping the hair..and so on) but the maturity of age helped me to negotiate all the changes in a positive way.

It goes so fast, I’m 34 and I feel like I turned 30 yesterday. So, enjoy every moment and take nothing for granted. You are blessed to have such wonderful parents that continue to guide you through your journey… listen and cherish it. More importantly revel in the joy! Continue to live your fabulous life. :)

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Liz Burr May 31, 2011 at 12:08 PM

Aw, thanks Tonya! I am soooo trying not to look back on the past and at what I messed up/didn’t do because I feel like in 5 years I’ll be looking back at today regretting how I didn’t enjoy this time :) I am hoping my 30s do turn into some sort of positive outlook on life lol. It might take a year or so though. I gotta get used to being 30 and right now I am not warming up to the idea lol.

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MsEvahoney May 28, 2011 at 12:00 AM

I turned 30 in January and I dont know if it was something that I built in my head or not but yurning 30 has been awesome. I feel like in your 20′s and even early 30′s you are still finding your way. One thing I have learned is that life is serious but not that serious. Good luck with all your endeavors this next year and happy birthday!

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Liz Burr May 31, 2011 at 12:12 PM

Thanks!!! Some of my friends are not embracing 30 as much as I would have thought lol. Others have seemingly ignored it. I at least want some positivity!!

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Squeak May 28, 2011 at 1:19 PM

First let me say, that your absence has been noticeable. At least to me.

Second, I too struggle with feeling undeveloped as an adult. I’m approaching 30 as well, and sometimes feel like I’m still 22 or 23 in some aspects. Truth is, I realized that it was a part of me that was still holding on to those days of irresponsiblity and carefree living. My life is completely different now than it was then and I realized that I hadn’t fully embraced adulthood and it’s parameters. That’s just me though.

Third, I also agree with you on this “As I grow older, I realize more and more just how amazing they[my parents] are.” I grew up a mommas boy. My dad was present, but we didn’t have a relationship. Now that I’m a man though, I go to him for advice all the time. We’ve built a relationship over manhood, fatherhood, and all that, and it’s been great to watch the evolution of it. Funny how just ten or fifteen years ago, we thought our parents knew nothing at all, now they are the wisest people we ever met.

Finally, i’d love to hear your thoughts on the series. I listened to it. I agree with it. I guess what i’m interested in, is how you balance your personal belief system with your other affiliations? That is not an accusatory or judgemental question, just one of curiosity.

Sorry so long.

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Liz Burr May 31, 2011 at 12:25 PM

Thanks for checking up on me Squeak :)

I think my underdeveloped feeling has me thinking I need to change my game up. I often think things are going to up and change on their own. but I’ve gotta do something different if I want to see some changes. So I am *hoping* I am going to work in this area. I’ve been changing the way I handle conflict, the way I often sit back and don’t say what needs to be said (I used to just stay quiet about some things). I’ve got a lot of things I need to change and see what the results look like.

The funny thing about my parents is that I am VERY AWARE of what their flaws and blind spots are. But in other areas they are sooooo wise and sooooo helpful. It is funny how I used to think they knew nothing :) I am looking forward to building my relationships with my parents through the years.

As for the series. I LOVED it! Thought it was life changing. Wished I had heard it years ago. It’s exactly what I needed as a young Christian lady not really understanding everything so clearly. But today it reinforces a lot of things I knew/felt were the right things to do, but didn’t have concrete ‘evidence’ or words to articulate it. It’s easy to let our culture dictate what things should be and how they should be.

As for my other affiliations…I’m not sure what you mean besides VSB. And that’s been an issue I’ve had for quite some time, actually since the beginning. The reason VSB does not have my name on it (in the history/about section) is because I know that P’s and Champ’s views on sexuality do not agree with mine. I know how they feel more or less, and I also know they’re liable to say ANYTHING about sex/love. So, I couldn’t put my name on something that I knew we disagreed about, fundamentally speaking. Rather than be preachy about it, I try to go with the flow and find ways to speak up about my thoughts where I see an opportunity. I wasn’t always like this though, I often said absolutely NOTHING. One of the things I’ve learned though is that my silence on things (anything) can be perceived as agreement, so I’ve started to at least talk about it more in the comments or in my own blog. To be honest, I have a new website I am going to launch on this topic and other things Christians think about when they’re in situations like this. I am probably going to launch it before the week is out (I told myself it had to go up before I turned 30 lol).

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Squeak May 31, 2011 at 2:43 PM

I was talking about VSB, I can see how your silence can be taken as agreement in some cases though. Which is why I enjoy reading your own blog. U bring relevant experience and view points to a topic that some feel is beyond the Church’s reach now. If last week, the week when the Rapture was sposed to happen, showed me anything, it’s that people, however they try to spin it or brush it off, are really looking for answers.

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MadScientist7 June 3, 2011 at 12:04 PM

81 babies unite! i’ll be 30 in september and i’m actually looking forward to it.

no dating for a year. i don’t know if i could do that but more power to you and i feel you on the parents thing. i spent 10 days at home and i got a lot of time to hang out with my parents individually (they’re divorced) and i appreciate them a lot more now than i did when i was in my younger 20s.

30 is going to be a good year. new job. new city. new life.

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Tentpole June 6, 2011 at 8:16 AM

Happy Birthday to my #1 VSS

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Liz Burr June 16, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Thank you :)

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Rashid Darden June 18, 2011 at 8:14 AM

1) OMG I can’t believe I missed your birthday. Please forgive me.

2) Look at my POS website. My life is in a shambles.

3) Call me so we can kee-kee today.

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Liz Burr July 17, 2011 at 10:58 PM

OMG YOUR NEW SITE!!!

Yeah I need to call you so we can talk about this new book you wrote without TELLING ME :)

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Marie Denee July 5, 2011 at 9:05 PM

Hi Liz.

Funnily enough, your trials or transitions seem to be speaking directly to me as well!

I turn 30 in September, and recently- I moved back home, gained a stepfather, and learned through all the madness- my mother is NOT superwoman, although her wisdom she has has been quite memorable for me. I lived in the Bay area for the last five years (as far away as I could go- so kudos to you for a NY move!) only to come back home to learn my family all over again and mostly to learn soo much more about myself.

I love your one year no dating… years ago, I went through a promise ring and class at my baptist church at the time (In Orange County) and I learned so much about myself… As I approach my 30′s (the last of my close girlfriends), I welcome it with open arms, love, and lessons!

Enough of my essay…. I found you through VSB and always enjoyed your words and now follow you on twitter…
Besos

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Liz Burr July 17, 2011 at 10:58 PM

Awww thanks Marie!

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Book2 July 7, 2011 at 3:09 PM

Wow….Liz I’m reading your blog, NICE ;) . A lurker over at VSB…you’re missed. My comment to you is … God has you were he wants you, unemployed and all. Life is a process that we never get a hold of. Look at your parents and look at them hard. Try not to make some of the msitakes that they’ve made, then again, make some of the mistakes that they have made (you’ll be a better person for it.) keep in mind that you are a whole lot better than most, and the GOD thing is in you…it’s just that simple.
Namaste’,
Renee

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Liz Burr July 17, 2011 at 10:56 PM

Thanks Renee!!!

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