NY State of Mind

October 12, 2008

in Uncategorized

I’m up late. Thinking about moving.

For the last 18 months I have had this itch to move to New York City. Some days the itch is faint. Other days it’s ridiculously strong. I don’t have any strong reasons to move to NYC (job, family); my sole motivation is to do it just to see if I can do it. Then move back to California where I will (presumably) get married and have children and raise them in sunny Orange County, preferably Irvine or Newport Beach. If you knew either of these two cities, you might want to barf, as they’re pretty much the epitome of Levittown, only with better weather and  Asians. I can’t help it though, I grew up in Tustin, and my first job was in Newport Beach. I spent my entire life watching the happy people live their happy little Levittown lives in Irvine and Newport, I guess that was my reference point for The American Dream.

Back to NYC. My ace Boom lives in NYC. Lots of cool people I know and love live in NYC. LA is starting to bore me. Yes, I love the weather. I hate driving. That’s a lie, I love to drive. I hate the time spent driving though. I love my New Mexico road trips. I don’t like how a NM road trip is the equivalent of a trip to the San Gabriel Valley for me. But I do feel bored here. Social life is almost stifling here.  

I started to look on craigslist for NYC apartments. I can’t help but feel like a fish out of water, toying with this idea. I haven’t been so off kilter since my first week arriving at MIT back in ’99. I remember it so vividly, my first night there. My parents shipped me off to MIT all by my lonesome. My dorm room was so bare and sterile. I was afraid to walk outside by myself at night. I was obsessed with not losing my dorm room keys. It was just me, in this new foreign place. For years I tried to avoid that feeling, but now, I kind of yearn for it again. Newness.

I just may put a plan in motion to move to NYC. Not making any promises. I did move out to LA for A Reason and I have yet to seriously confront that Reason. I have my excuses (work, school, new business), but in reality I have never given it the ole college try. Moving to NYC would mean turning on that idea for now, and so I wonder, do I have the guts to go for what I said I wanted? Do I still want It?

We shall see.

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